I guess I forgot to blog yesterday, but we started our journey back to Albuquerque yesterday. We've been living in FL for the past year, and now that my husband is coming back from Afghanistan, it's time to go home. Last night we stayed in Daphne, AL. We don't really have a time schedule to get back, so we're just sort of driving as long as I and the kids want to.
We hit the road at 8:45 thhis morning, and decided to stop around 4:00 PM in Ruston, LA, at the Fairfield Inn by Marriott. Since we arrived so early, I decided to treat us to a suite. We have two rooms, one with two queen beds, and one sitting room. Both have TVs. I will attach a couple pics at the end of the post. We didn't see anything too exciting as we made our way through Alabama and Mississippi. We saw the guys with the sweet potato trucks, but I missed both opportunities to take pics of them.
There was also a restaurant I wanted to take a pic of, but missed it, too. I almost went back, but didn't want to turn around. The place was called The Reel Steakhouse, and it had a pic of a hillbilly in a boat, and he was fishing, and at the end of his line, half out of the water, was a black and white cow. What I want to know is...where is the lake where they catch those cows? I wonder if they put up much fight, like swordfish. The cow on the picture didn't look like he was too feisty...he sort of even looked happy to be caught. If only he knew he was being harvested for human consumption. Poor cows. They always seem to get the raw end of the deal.
I'm sitting out by the indoor pool now, half watching my kids swim, half writing this blog. There's a Sonic right down the road...I think I'll get that for dinner and bring it back to the room.
I suppose tomorrow's goal is to make it through the hell otherwise known as Dallas, and stop somewhere after that. I am going to use some of the downtime I have tonight to edit. I have got to finish editing a story with a tight deadline.
My 13 year old daughter just texted me. She went back up to the room a few minutes ago, and apparently, she thinks the room is haunted. She said as she was reaching to flush the toilet, it flushed by itself. However, according to her, every house we've lived in is haunted, and every hotel room we've stayed in is haunted, too. Lol.
Here are a couple pics of the room we're in tonight:
Yesterday was super busy. Lots of cooking and preperation. One thing we made was chocolate wafer cookies, a recipe passed down for generations. They are yummy and were my favorite cookies when I was a kid. They still are. Anyway, we laid out four of these cookies for Santa, and when the kids went to bed, I ate them, making sure to leave plenty of crumbs on the plate. I also left a note from Santa that said:
Dear Aidan, Callie and Joe,
Thank you for the delicious cookies. Rudolph liked them so much he ate two! They were YUMMY!
Love, Santa
This morning, my son took one look at the note and the crumb covered plate and said, "See? That PROVES Santa is real! A deer ate those cookies, because what person could make such a mess when they eat?"
Lol. Hee hee. I suspect he doesn't really believe in Santa, but I tell you, that kid is quick with the wit. And now, since everyone just loves pictures of other people's kids, I will post a few from the last couple days.
I've been noticing something lately, not necessarily in the manuscripts I'm editing, but even those I'm reading, and I'm noticing it more and more. It's starting to bug me. I love it when a writer keeps POV to one character per scene, or at least doesn't head hop so often they are switching POV's every paragraph. However, when you create a scene in, say, the hero's POV, when you switch to the heroine's POV, you don't have to recount the entire previous scene just to put it in her POV. For example (I'll try and keep it abbreviated):
Nick backed away from Jenny, who sneered at him like a circus clown gone mad. When did she turn into such a complete whack-o? She took a step forward, her hands reaching, her fingers forming claws. Her nails gleamed like red Christmas bulbs in the flourescent light of the hallway.
"I don't have to put up with this," he said, his voice losing a bit of its previous authority.
"You'll do exactly what I want you to do," she said, her last words slipping into a growl. She launched at him and shoved.
Nick tumbled down the stairs, cracking his head on the last concrete step. Jenny's laughter echoed down the staircase as he wavered in and out of consciousness.
* * * * * Jenny couldn't believe it. She had just pushed Nick down the stairs. His head had made a satisfying crack on the last concrete step when it hit the bottom.
She'd approached him, and she could tell he wavered. He was scared. He was nervous. He backed away from her like a boy backs away from a father brandishing a belt.
When he spoke to her, his voice quavered. He wasn't so mean now. The command was gone from his voice, and when she had replied, her voice seemed to have gained the authority his lost.
She'd jumped toward him, and shoved. Then, she had laughed, laughed like a circus clown gone mad.
See what I mean? She basically just repeated everything Nick went through in his scene. Also, notice how she had to use all the passive voice in her scene? Anyway, I hope I made sense. I've got to go wash a little kids hair now. And please don't think I write like my examples. I try and be over the top to try and make learning fun. :)
Passive voice: Passive voice is a biggie. Passive voice should be replaced with active voice whenever possible. I see passive voice way too much in almost every manuscript I edit, and I have to admit, I have trouble with it in my own stories, too. It is probably the hardest bad writing habit to break, in my opinion, because it's so sneaky.
An example of passive voice is, "Jenny had been gossiping to anyone who would listen to her all day."
The active voice is always preferred, "Jenny gossiped to anyone who would listen to her all day."
Anytime you see any form of "had been" or "to be" followed by a verb (or past participle), you should almost always try and think of a way to make it active.
In other news, I edited almost 14 hours yesterday, trying to keep deadlines for my publisher, who was thrown into a bit of a pickle. I finished editing one story, sent it to the author for corrections, then edited 80 pages of the story with the tight deadline. Only 220 more pages to go. Lol.
The Christmas Chat last night was...speedy. By the time I typed to comment on something, the subject had changed. It was crazy! But we had a good turnout, so I was entertained, even though I didn't participate much. I think I just have to get used to it. It didn't help that my cell phone was constantly getting texts from my friend and my daughter at the same time.
One short break from the writing bit, to give you all a little history about me and the past year.
I'm married to an Air Force Officer, stationed in Afghanistan. He left last January. When he left, my three kids and I moved from Albuquerque to Merritt Island, Florida, to stay with my mom, whose health is failing.
My in-laws visited and fell in love with the area and bought a condo for next to nothing. When I saw the condo, I told my husband about it, and he said we could get one too, since living with my mom just doesn't work. So, I bought the condo. It was/is GORGEOUS (and can be yours for the right price).
Since then, the year in Afghanistan has really affected my husband, and we almost divorced twice while he was gone. Both times, we've reconciled (and doing well, now).
In September, during a regular yearly exam, the doctor found suspicious cells. She recommended an ablation of the uterus and a biopsy. Well, guess what? During the biopsy, the doctor poked a giant hole in my uterus, and I had to go back two weeks later to have a total hysterectomy (kept the ovaries). My husband came home to help take care of me, but the day after he went back to Afghanistan, I got a major kidney infection and lung infection (as a result of the catheter during surgery and the general anesthesia) with a 104 fever and had to go back into the hospital. So, that was not good.
Last month, my husband found out he will be making Lt. Colonel soon, so instead of retiring from the AF and staying in our condo, we decided to sell the condo and go back to our home in Albuquerque, where he will continue his stint in the Air Force, and I will have lots more time on my hands (all the better to edit).
In the last two weeks or so, I've packed up the condo (with the help of a few friends), drove a Budget truck to Albuquerque (by myself), unloaded the truck (with the help of two friends), prepared our house for moving back in, then flew back to FL to stay with my mom through the holidays. If I was the Queen of Adverbs, my mom is the Queen of Stress and the Duchess of Overreaction.
So, it's no wonder that my normally athletic, thin healthy body started having blood pressure spikes two weeks ago. Well, not really spikes, but constant high blood pressure. It all started when I took my mom to the grocery store, and while she was looking at something, I sat down at one of those blood pressure machines. I have always prided myself on my level of fitness and low blood pressure/pulse, so when it registered way high, I thought the machine was wrong.
To make a long story short, I checked it a few more times at different locations, and it was still high. Then two days ago, it registered the highest yet--140/100, and was accompanied by an intense feeling of being cold all the time and some major pressure headaches. So, I made an appt. with the doctor, and since I am thin and generally healthy, she's starting a conservative treatment with some medicine I can't even begin to pronounce. I've also got to take BP two or three times a week and keep a log and check in with doctor in New Mexico when I get there at the beginning of January.
I turned 40 in September, and I can't help thinking about something I "bragged" about to my friends when I was about 12. I said, "When I turn 40, I'm gonna kill myself, because I don't wanna be old."
Geez. You think that's maybe exactly what I'm doing? Who believes in self-fulfilling prophecy? Lol.
When I was in high school, I was in a writing class, and the teacher taught the more adverbs you could throw into a story, the better. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, how wrong she was. But, that little bit of misinformation stuck in my head when I decided I wanted to write professionally. I was the Adverb Queen (I was also the Queen of every other one of the things that now make me grit my teeth, too, lol). It took me a long time to realize I didn't need adverbs, that they are almost always redundant, and a sign of lazy writing. After all, why couldn't I say something and wrap it all up in one adverb? That way, I didn't have to write a whole drawn out scene full of imagery.
For example, back then, I loved to write something like (and I'll use our good friends Nick and Jenny):
Jenny grinned like a rabid hyena and joyfully shoved Nick down the stairs.
When you first look at it, that sentence isn't really too bad. It's got a good image of Jenny with a wicked grin plastered on her face, and she didn't just push Nick down the stairs, she shoved him. What totally (yes, I know that "totally" is an adverb, but hey, I'm a Florida girl) kills this sentence is the word "joyfully." You don't need it. It's redundant, because we know by Jenny's wicked hyena grin that she enjoyed shoving Nick down the stairs.
Another example:
"Take that, you underhanded, cheating sneak! I hope you rot in hell for your dastardly ways!" Jenny cried vehemently.
And no, "dastardly" isn't the bad adverb here, even though it is so totally dumb and a character would never talk like that (look for unrealistic dialogue in a future post). The bad adverb is "vehemently," because we know she is vehement, because her dialogue shows us she is. So, that naughty adverb must come out.
One thing I hear so often is the phrase, "Show, don't tell." One way to get rid of all the "telling" is to simply get rid of most of your adverbs, as many as you can.
And that is all I will say about adverbs, except I wish that most all of them would die.
Many of you probably don't know I have Asperger's. I look totally normal. I'm not freaky looking and I don't have any weird hand tics. See? Here is me:
I'm just incredibly shy and socially awkward in the extreme. I hate talking on the phone. I hate going to stores. I dread anything where I will have to speak to a stranger, or even someone I know. There are four people in the whole world I can talk to comfortably--my friend since the 5th grade, a friend in Altus, Oklahoma, a neighbor friend, and my husband. Even my mom is not on the list. But, online, you would never know I have this. I can express myself well on a blog, and the Asperger's doesn't affect my editing, although I am a little shy when it comes to posting on the loops. I am trying to overcome that, though. I have a hard time standing or sitting still, and to edit, I need ADHD medication (currently on Strattera after a bad experience with Vyvanse). Anyway, sometimes I may say some inappropriate or seemingly uncaring things, but I do care very deeply about people, and sometimes I can't even watch the news because I have a lot of empathy. The recent finding of the body of Caylee Anthony had me awake all night the day it happened. But, I also think people are in charge of their lives. You reap what you sow. I had a hard time crying after my father's death at 65, because he drank and smoked and that killed him. I tried all my life to get him to quit. So, when he got deathly ill, I wasn't surprised, and I kept thinking he is just suffering the consequences of his actions. I wasn't able to cry for him until Steve Irwin died. I know, it's weird. But when Steve Irwin died, I cried my eyes out, and realized that night, not only was I crying for Steve, but I was also crying for my dad.
Now, for my writing tip of the day (part of my Asperger's/ADHD is that I will jump from one subject to the next in the space of a heartbeat):
He felt/heard/saw/realized/decided/knew/figured, etc: I have seen this in almost every single story I've edited.You don't usually need these phrases at all. When you are in a character's point of view, the reader knows this is what the character saw/felt etc.
For example, "Jenny knew Nick would knock on her door after dinner." You don't need "Jenny knew" because we are in her POV (point of view), and the sentence is much less distracting and deeper in her POV when it reads, "Nick would knock on her door after dinner."
Another example: “Jenny heard Nick fall down the stairs.”
How boring. Look at how much better this is: “Nick thudded and thumped down the stairs, heel over butt, shouting a slurred curse as his head cracked on the bottom concrete step.” We can figure out lots of things from this sentence, first and foremost that Jenny actually heard this happening. We can tell the fall hurt (his curse), and we can tell he was probably drunk (slurred speech). The reader can actually picture the scene in their head with the second example.
Anyway, I hope you all have a great Sunday! Go Bucs!
Wow, my first post as a senior editor. As way of introduction, I am the senior editor for Carnal Passions, the erotic imprint of Champagne Books, of which I am an editor. I love my job. I love to read what other's have imagined, and make it better. I guess that's why I named my blog "Nit Picky is Good." It really is. I go through the manuscripts I edit with a fine tooth comb, and am not afraid to use red. Lol. That's a good thing, though, right? The first thing writers should do is to not take their edits personally. The only reason you're being edited in the first place is that your story is GOOD, good enough to be accepted and contracted by a publisher.
As an editor, I feel I do the author a great injustice not to read and scrutinize every sentence, looking for ways to make it better.
So, the purpose of this blog is to share Carnal Passion's successes and to help author's make their writing stronger. I will try and post daily writing tips, as well as highlight the books we publish. It's gonna be fun, so stop by every day!
Now, I would like to mention the first book I edited for Carnal Passions, Summer Magic, by the talented, multi-published author, Christine McKay. Right now, it is currently Number One on Carnal Passion's Bestseller List. Here is the cover--isn't it delicious? Check it out at http://www.carnalpassions.com/.
Name: Mindy Home: Albuquerque, NM, United States About Me: I am Senior Editor for an imprint of Champagne Books. I am married to an Air Force Officer, who is currently serving his country in Afghanistan. I have three bright and beautiful children. See my complete profile
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